Houseplant Mania

I picked up the Great Dane and Chihuahua of house plants at Home Depot yesterday because I couldn’t help myself; all of the plants in the store were looking so green and lush after the last few weeks of heat – full of new growth and chlorophyll. Plus, you know I can’t resist a baby succulent, which is that speck of dirt you see dwarfed on the step.

Of course the succulent I really considered getting was this other one that looks oddly like a butt, or maybe a bad guy from Mario Bros., but is squishy and tiny and just made me smile. If you’re really wondering, I believe it’s name to be Split Rock, but I was sad to see that it would only grow about 2″ tall so back to the shelf it went. I wanted plants with serious growth potential.

Speaking of butts when I shouldn’t be speaking of butts, what’s this about? (Caught my eye at Marshall’s. You try to walk by it and not laugh a little.)

Back to the main, plant-intensive topic. I can’t turn down a good one when I see it, especially if it’s almost as big as me, only $13, and doesn’t look overly like something you’d find in Florida or the tropics, because vegetation like that always looks odd and out of place in NY homes, in my opinion.

The leafy greens I lugged home in my passenger’s seat measured about 52″ tall, even though the tag tells me I should expect to see it max out around 48″. Meaning it’s a superstar plant and I’m lucky to have it.

It’s given name is the Umbrella Tree (or Schefflera arboricola if you’re a fanciful horticulturist), and it even towered over Cody, who’s almost knocked its precarious 10″ plastic base over on five separate occassions with a single swing of his tail. I also couldn’t take a photo of him not howling in a where’s-my-treat-for-staying-still fit. The doof.

The other plant I bought was one of the <$3 baby succulents, this one kindly named Elephant Bush, as in, this is the plant that elephants thrive off of on safari. Cool. I obviously picked the tallest one with the most stems to optimize my opportunity for success.

And don’t be fooled, this baby only measures 5″ tall right now but has potential of reaching the same 48″ vertical of the Umbrella Tree.

I just hope it grows faster than the Anniversary Jade.